Is it any wonder…

Good evening,

Is it any wonder that I feel conflicted.
Moving from one home to another is emotionally heavy.

Are homes overpriced?  In some places the answer is yes.
Taxes are too much and make a house undesirable. It’s not worth it to me.

How does anyone survive let alone thrive living in the east coast with a modest salary? Not appetizing.

It was a good experience in seeing what the market goes for in some areas.

The houses I’ve seen on the west coast was a different story.
With my modest salary I can live like a princess. I don’t need to be a queen.
But I can thrive.
That’s exciting to me.

Well…ever day is a new lesson.

Never stop learning!!!!

But it was soo cute.
Pity that money can help and hurt.

Staying conflicted.


The Right Way To Love God?

Susan Cottrell & FreedHearts


What does a “godly” person look like? Is there a right way to love God? Is there a correct path to follow Jesus?

I just returned from my fourth “Christian” conference of the year.

January I was in Chicago for the Gay Christian Network Annual Conference, where some 700 people gathered to celebrate, learn, and share community. Rob and I were among 200 parents, the rest were LGBTQ people, mostly in their 20s and 30s, gathered in the name of Christ. The worship, the camaraderie, the joy of the Lord, filled the conference hall. If you had been there, you would have basked in it! No denomination, no distinction, no made to feel second-class. They’re just brothers and sisters in Christ, full of gratitude for Christ in us, the hope of glory.

God is God.

In June I returned to Chicago for a “By Parents, For Parents” conference. Parents of LGBTQ…

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New Beginning

     It’s just a refreshing thing to finally go to work and feel no pain.
I’ve worked in the financial industry for over twenty years and been through so many ups and downs.
Management changes in the corporate world is outrageous. I couldn’t believe it. I’m not sure what’s more outrageous,  merging of offices or separating.
The corporate world is a dog eat dog world and I’ve had my share of all of it.

Management changes hit me the hardest. I went from management to treated like a piranhas. Three awful years of having to fake it with people who behave like self absorbed children. Being treated inhumanly for being a good person is hard to swallow.

But…Patience and prayer paid off.
After expressing myself I finally had an opportunity to get a transfer to a sister branch.
I had a fantastic first day in my new office. The manager is supreme and I hear and see how she treats everyone so beautiful.

So never give up on dreams.
Patience can pay off.

Blessed be!


Mel Shank-Auto

Doing my best today to concentrate on positive projects. My tough day is slowly turning around. I am helping my fiancee Joey and his partner Chris get their auto business up and running. They are the dirt and I am the computer. I think it’s a match made in business heaven.

I want to contribute as much as I can to help them. They are so smart and talented. It would be selfish of me to sit idle and do nothing.

So I at least want to tell you about positive projects.
Makes me happy to help.
I want to be productive.

I’d like to make a blog series of this too.
Hope you don’t mind.

I’ll be back.
Thank you for the read 🙂 !

Depression Hurts…The Commercial is True

How do I begin…
When I first saw the Cymbalta commercial years ago, I did not fully understand.
Now I do. Life has lots of hills and valleys. The usual highs and lows.

I just did not realize how strong an emotion like depression can debilitate a once happy,  content human being.

When the domino of crushing events happen, one cannot help and falter. Like me….
I’m only human with lots of flaws. That’s life right?

I have been diagnosed with depression.  I have bouts of manic behaviour.  I even have episodes of bipolar activity.
I’m still taking tests and being evaluated.
I go from A to Z in one second. From rage to sadness;  shopping to buyer’s remorse.

It’s a civil war inside. No one is winning.

And what adds more fuel is abusive treatment at my workplace.
I’ve been searching for new work for over a year. My disappointment only deepens my depression. I am unhappy in every aspect of my life.

Sadly,  even my fiancee cannot lift me up.

I do hope that you are all well out there.
I do not wish these emotions on anyone.

But right now these emotions are mine. I need to work to heal.

One of the many situations one must overcome.

Okay now…writing this has made me feel overwhelmed inside myself.

I must stop.
Until next time…be well.